Is this how it is?

I've been a civilian now for almost two weeks. What's it like? Well it feels as though I've been cut adrift. The Dept of Veterans Affairs just keeps asking for more paperwork. No phone calls to see how I am and what can they do. Just go get another medical certificate to say you can't work. Why? Because the other four weren't good enough? Getting getting kicked out of the military isn't enough?

Today I had to go to Centrelink (the Australian Welfare office) so my wife could apply for a benefit to look after me (as she is unable to work as much because she is caring for me). I have never been in such a place that fills you with despair. Even the people who worked their looked as though any peson who walked in the door was a hopeless case. Doesn't matter if you were looking for work or not. I never want to go into that place again. The lady who looked after me was nice enough, but the whole place just felt as though I should just give up.

So now I am at the whim of the system. If this is how it is then this sucks. So much for the contract of faith between me and the government when you join the military to be looked after.

Today Is The Day.

Today is the last day and tomorrow is the first day of forever. After almost 17 years of wearing a military uniform I will no longer put on the uniform of my country. Tomorrow is the first day of being John Q. Civilian and is also my birthday. Happy Birthday to me.

So how does the fact that this is the last day in the military for me feel? Honestly nothing. I don't feel anything. People have asked me over and over again how I feel about this life changing event. The only thoughts I have on it are whether the "incapacity" payments and superannuation payments will start at the right time so my family will be able to pay it's bills and be able to eat. Other than that I am rather indifferent to it all. I just don't care.

Well this chapter closes and another begins. Will this be a long chapter? Will I even be bothered? Who knows what life has installed for me.

The End is Near

Yes the end is near. After almost 17 years of service I am soon to be John Q Civilian. My life is now spent trying to sort out my life post military. I go to meetings and fill out forms. I have no idea what any of it means or what they are saying. I try and listen and comprehend it but I just can't. They might as well be speaking a little known Chinese dialect from the fukdifiknow provence. So as I sail these waters for the final month of my military career I head into the unknown. DVA have accepted that my PTSD is war caused but I haven't heard about anything else. I don't know how much of a pension I will be getting, I don't know if I will be able to live and support my wife and six children or pay my mortgage. Got to love the "Thank you" for your military service.

DVA only pay you part of your "pension" (but it's not a pension) . They get together with the military superannuation people and decide who is going to pay what. So basically it's now up to the superannuation people to decide how "disabled" I am and what are the chances I can work again. All the specialists I've seen have said that I would probably never work again. Great.

One other point I have is that why so many forms? I mean I've filled out forms and submitted a pile to one agency that was 2 inches (5 cm) thick. Most of it had information that was repeated up to 12 times! Then I have to fill in more forms for another agency etc and then there is the forms for Defence. I don't understand any of it so I just sign my moniker and let wheels keep on turning. Might be easier if I was dead. Paperwork wise anyway.

Hooray for death by a thousand papercuts and a thousand staples.