The anger, fear, anxiety, depression, constantly being alert is still there. Over a year later after being cut loose from the Australian military and being left to survive on my own, nothing has changed.

I've tried to start a hobby to give me something to do. Frustrating is about the best way to describe it.

My memory is still crap. I mean it took me three months to remember what the log in was to this dumb blog. So much for keeping it together.

I was thinking the other day that if I had a chance to get back into it, either Afghanistan or Iraq I'd take it. Why? Because at least then it was real. My life as jarking, bleak, etc was real.